I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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