Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
4 words: hood of his car
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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