Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
