Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
