Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
