You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
