i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When are your genitals available?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
