It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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