My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
