He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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