How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you never un-have a 4some
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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