Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
