I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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