I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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