i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize