shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
