so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
