I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
