when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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