You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize