O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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