from now on my penis is your penis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
