Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
