Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
