Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
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