Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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