My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
is it fun? or sober?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
