How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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