I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
