bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
