shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
