Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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