Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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