What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize