This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
