it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize