That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize