Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Couch. On fire.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
