I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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