I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I know her cup size but not her name....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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