Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
