he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
