can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
