the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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