Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize