So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
