Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
