And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
