My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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