your room smells of hookers.
And success
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
