Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
