Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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