so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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