oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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