Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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