i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
