he shaved USA in his pubs
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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