what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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