Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
